An Open Letter to JP and Garnel

[Profanity Alert]

It’s three months since I’ve crashed and burned onto the blogscene.

It’s been a wild ride, to be sure, with few ups and many downs.

Yes, I’ve poured my kishkes into this fakakte thing. Why, you want to know? Maybe I have a life, maybe I don’t. Or I'm an exhibitionist. Whatever the case, it's none of your damn business.

In any event, there’s something particularly painful about baring your soul to so many, only to have it so ruthlessly stabbed. Like putting your neck on the chopping block; and chop they sure did. Their behavior has been inexcusable.

At more than one point, I was suicidal (ooh, wouldn’t they have loved that!). No, I’ve never been that way before. Go ahead, don’t believe me. See if I care.

Sometimes, I really wonder why I do it. For goodness’ sake, religion’s already ruined the first twenty-three years of my life, why let it ruin the next fifty-eight?

I’m not here to change anybody’s mind. (I have no mitzva of kiruv, ahem ahem.) I’m just here to say my goddamn honest opinion (unlike your rabbis, who make a living out of lying and being all-around assholes.) If you don’t like it- DON’T FUCKING READ IT. This is the fucking internet, for chrissake; not some fucking shtetle, circa 1920s. If you, as a blogger, can’t accept someone else’s right to free speech, you’re in the wrong place. Get your fucking shitty ass off the internet and back on to your fucking tznius patrol where you’ve earned the prestigious honor of throwing acid in the faces of innocent women not quite dressed up to your Chazon Ish standards.

As the great Abraham Lincoln said, “Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.” Get off the worldwide web, and go back to the Dark Ages, for fuck’s sake.

On the other hand, many frum bloggers have been quite respectful. Babysitter and Brooklyn Wolf are two examples. While my odds of becoming frum again are very slim, at least commenters like them remind me of the positives of religion.

There’s an old saying: “A drop of honey attracts more flies than a gallon of gall.” Certain people, namely JP and Garnel, would be well-advised to keep that in mind.

If my own mother (who loves me to death) can’t convince me to be frum again, why on earth do you think a nasty comment or two will do the trick?

Why the hell do you pour salt on our wounds/fuel the fire? If you thought I was mad before, you should see me now! Ha! I’ve been through more hell in the name of religion than you’ll ever know! I’ve heard every last goddamn kiruv kvetch in the book! What do you think you’re doing, attacking people who’ve never done anything to you? You think you can frighten me back into your fucking cult? Close, but no cigar.

I’ve got news for you: You don’t know SHIT about kiruv, you dumb fucks. Go back to molesting your kids, JP. Avoid blogging altogether.

You thought you could get away with it, huh? Take advantage of my inexperience, and dump your shit all over me, eh?

Well, it’s payback time.

You’ve crossed the wrong person, fuckers.

You dish it out-you gotta take it.

Bring on the war, you motherfuckers.