A Critique of Kiruv

I have a number of problems with the kiruv movement.

My number one problem with it is it operates on different premises than the FFB world. FFB's in general are born frum, raised frum, by FFB parents. Their number one goal is to remain religious, and keep the faith going.

BT's on the other hand, are a different story. They come from a secular background, and are generally convinced by rabbis/religious institutions to become religious. Bear in mind, they often have a high level of respect for tradition and history. They may have a high level of trust in the rabbis they meet. Ripe for the picking they are.

There is a high level of excitement, the novelty of Torah they're learning. That, combined with the element of surprise, often gives the rabbis an advantage in winning over their charges to their way of life.

The point to remember is, again, they operate on different premises. FFB's practice because that's how they've always been, their job is to maintain their traditions, and those beliefs better be true. If they're not? Nisht geferlach. BT's, on the other hand, are entering "independently" at a later stage in life, for the most part because they've been convinced that this way of life is Right and True. Many BT's will literally say that they've explored the world's religions, had absolute freedom to choose any way of life they so desired, yet came to the conclusion that Orthodox Judaism is Right and True, and therefore live their lives as practicing Orthodox Jews. Also, let's not forget that in the FFB world, God is unquestionable. In the BT world, not as much.

How kiruv people con their charges is something of a mystery to me. To clarify, I have an idea what it is they tell them, but I have no idea why the people buy it. All I can say is, they probably sugarcoat it a LOT.

Now I have a point to make: All those kiruv rabbis are purportedly selling pre-packaged, canned, perfect truth, are they not? All those wonderful ex-professors and brilliant geniuses (yes, the Gottliebs and Tatzes of the world) are really the bomb, no? They got it all together, don't they? Then why not allow atheists or OTDers or any kind of opponents to share their point of view? Maybe invite some guest lecturers, who don't have the same agenda you do? If you're so sure you're selling truth to your students, why don't you allow them to hear conflicting views, and judge for themselves? You don't trust them? You can't afford it? hmmm.

Isn't looking for counter-arguments an integral part of assessing arguments? Shouldn't the students be shown all the relevant information on BOTH sides before being expected to make a decision? Shouldn't they be allowed to get their facts straight? Isn't it essentially straw men arguments your wonderful rabbis construct of opposing views in, say, evolution, before "demolishing" them?

Remember the key point I mentioned in the beginning: Kiruv operates by selling truth, whereas the FFB world works by selling gornisht. Methinks the majority of them wonder what the hell could have gotten into the head of this poor BT to make them switch. It was funny for me, as a kid, reading kiruv books such as "The Kiruv Files" and always being surprised. At the reasons people had for going BT, at the method of argumentation, at the things BT's would say, or the kiruv workers to them. Kiruv is dangerous because it holds the frum world, even the FFB world, to a much higher standard of truth than religion has normally been accustomed to. It raises the stakes in an already precarious game. Sure, it might net you some wonderful, loaded enthusiasts, but is it worth it for all those you'll lose when they, pardon the French, realize it's all boolsheet?

I was staying at a major kiruv family, also relatives of mine, in Israel a few years ago. I noticed a guy there who seemed a bit overwhelmed with all the culture he was being exposed to. He was probably on a few week summer "program" and, I imagine, was being subjected to intense brainwashing back at headquarters during the week. He seemed so perplexed, or perhaps, shocked. I wanted to run up to him sitting there all forlornly on the couch, and yell at him, "Run! As fast as you can! Get away from this cult! They'll lie and misrepresent reality 'til the cows come home, or you become frum!" Of course, I did nothing. (Reminds me of an interesting story I heard recently from a friend. The kid of a kiruv family was in a similar situation. He quietly handed a piece of paper with the url of Daat Emet to such a guest. Shoyn.)

You can see where this might lead to problems with the next generation of BT children. FFB's are taught to be frum because, just because, and stop asking your silly questions already. BT's kids are taught to be frum because it's the only true way to live. Many of them will claim, at least in theory (or if their name is Garnel or Tatz or Gottlieb they'll lie) that if one REALLY searches, they'll be convinced the Torah way of life is true. Erm...I think not. As I've said before, it's a recipe for disaster. It's a very dangerous thing to say, and you better, BETTER be backed up with evidence.

Two more stories: My parents have always been proud of their decision to go BT, and I don't blame them. (It's not their fault their rabbis lied to them.) They were instilled with a sense of pride about their BT status, and while I'm sure they knew many in the frum world discriminated against them, they overall felt they belonged. One day, my parents were called in for a meeting with my high school rosh yeshiva. All I know is it didn't go well. When I got home, I saw my father sitting, ashen-faced, in his study, with my mother not looking a lot happier. They didn't give me too many details, but from what I understood, they were grossly disrespected by the rosh yeshiva, and it came as a major shock to them. I guess the fact that the same rosh yeshiva kissed up to them majorly at my bar mitzva a year before, and the fact that they were trained to have an immense amount of pride in their newfound BT status may have had something to do with it. Something about this rosh yeshiva's behavior shocked them, and awoke them to the reality that maybe they weren't quite as highly-regarded as the kiruv places would have you believe.

Side note: Don't you dare trash BT's. I've seen this happen many times, especially at the beginning of this blog, when I disclosed that my parents are BT's, that BT's overdo it, yada yada shmada. How dare you make such generalizations, and judge people who gave up so much for what they were conned into believing is the right way to live, by white-haired rabbis, mind you. In this f---ing blogosphere, you can have half a head, if you're with the frummies, you're the greatest thing since sliced bread. Come one, come all, converts, BT's, the whole nine yards. We'll love and respect you, and wouldn't even dream of questioning you, your beliefs, or your lineage, as long as you don't give us any grief. If you call yourself an OTDer and - horror of horrors! - discuss your OTDness, well then, expect us to haul out the microscopes and go over every detail of your posted life with a fine-toothed comb (it's so relevant, of course). Of course, PLEEZE!, tell us your story. Then we can pick it apart and trash you. All in a day's work. But we LOVE YOU!!!! Fine arrangement you have there.

One more story: Also in Israel, I went for a Shabbos meal to a choshuve rosh yeshiva, my father's rosh yeshiva while studying in a kiruv yeshiva in Israel. I was expecting a warm welcome from this eminent rabbi as, after all, my father was "top guy" in his place for years, if my mother was to be believed. What shocked me wasn't so much that he treated me like a complete stranger, and seemed not to recognize my father's name one bit, but my utter lack of a positive impression of him. He seemed like any other rabbi to me, and I couldn't for the life of me understand how not only was my father inspired by this man, but inspired enough to change his whole life around. Teiku.